Helping kids with healthy eating

Teaching children healthy eating habits has its challenges. 

As a Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina (Blue Cross NC) dietitian case manager, I hear some common concerns from members:

• “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t get him to eat one vegetable. I feel like I’ve tried everything.”  
• “Her doctor said she was obese according to her growth chart. She’s only 7 years old! Did I do something wrong?”

It’s natural for parents and caregivers to care that their children have healthy habits and growth trends. That’s why it’s important to work patiently with kids to help them build a positive relationship with food. 

So how can we promote a healthy environment for kids without pressure or shame?

Pediatricians use the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention BMI-for-age growth charts to monitor growth for kids age 2 to 20 years old. 

How do we read a growth chart? It’s important to remember that the goal is not to get to the average of 50th percentile but for a child to follow their own growth trend. 

For example, if a child is at the 50th percentile, increases to the 75th percentile, and then to the 95th percentile, a cause should be determined with the help of a provider. But a child who has always been at the 90th percentile following their own growth curve, with balanced meals and physical activity as a part of their lives, is not a major cause of concern. 

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, even for kids.

The Ellyn Satter Institute has created a family division of responsibility to help guide parents with mealtimes. This clear division can help take the pressure off for both parents and kids.  

Parents are responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding. Kids are responsible for how much and whether they eat. This may be hard to put into practice at first, but with time can bring ease to meals. 

Avoid restriction, pressure, coercion, and bribery to get kids to eat or push them toward certain foods. These tactics can backfire over time, leading to a poor relationship with food and poor ability to follow their own hunger and fullness cues. Restriction can increase the likelihood for becoming overweight or obese, and for developing an eating disorder. 

Families that eat together promote a healthy relationship with eating. It’s also a great way to connect and check in with each other. 

Families with especially busy schedules may find this difficult. Even a few times a week is beneficial. If dinnertime does not work for your family, consider sitting down for breakfast or weekend lunches together.

Have kids get involved with the process of making a meal! 

They could help you make a grocery list, go shopping, or help with the actual prep for a meal. Small kids can help with tearing lettuce for a salad, mixing ingredients, or setting the table. Older kids can help with chopping, sautéing, or cleaning dishes. 

Not only does this help kids understand the work that goes into putting a meal together, but it also gives them valuable skills when they start to cook for themselves.

Consider applying the division of responsibility concept to physical activity, too. 

Parents give opportunities, structure, and safety when it comes to physical activity. Kids choose how much, how, and whether to move. Limiting screen time helps with increasing opportunities for movement. 

Avoid becoming their personal trainer or using physical activity to slim down a child who is at a higher weight. Young kids naturally love their bodies and helping them continue to love and accept themselves as they grow older is important for a healthy relationship to both food and exercise.

Approaching mealtimes with kindness – toward yourself as parents and toward kids – is key to achieving and maintaining a positive food environment as a family. 

Often this type of work involves adults examining their own relationship with food, their bodies, and diet culture. Change does not occur overnight and creating a healthy environment for your child takes time and practice. 

Adopting these approaches does not magically create a kid who is excited about eating their vegetables every night. With time they support a kid's positive relationship to food and their bodies to carry them into adulthood. 

For a fun activity, check out the Teach kids healthy eating early guide (PDF) from NC A&T State University. It has coloring sheets and talking points to help them learn.